Becoming
by Cyndi
Summary: It was better than anything he'd ever dreamed in his eons of solitude. .o. SLASH UnicronxStarscream, Armada, Ambrosiaverse. .o.


Note: I KNEW this would come to me when I unwrapped Unicron on my birthday. I KNEW it. I mean, the second I bent down to peer into the figurine's eyes it all came to me, and it just took me time to formulate it in my head so I could write it. So here it is, the first meeting between Starscream and Unicron in _Ambrosia_, told from Unicron's perspective.

Musical inspiration: Enya, "Alderbaran" (fic related video: /watch?vPgKJtQb8DW4 )

.o

****

Becoming

.o

Golden plating reflected a single yellow star glowing brightly in the distance. The star's outer planets hung like the hands of an ancient clock against the blackness of space. They spun around their pre-determined orbits, unaware that high above them was a god who once could not see their beauty in the darkness.

That all changed the day the god saw his dream face to face.

Unicron smiled inwardly. Today was a special day.

****

Starscream, you may come out now.

"Finally! What's all the secrecy?"

****

You'll see.

"This better be good," he groused, and Unicron felt him stomping around. It...tickled...when he made his way into the ring array. Lately, that had been his favorite vantage point whenever Unicron traveled in planet mode.

It took several moments for Starscream to emerge. He was a precious blue jewel in the dark, his silver eyes reflecting the Solar system's central star.

"I remember this place," Starscream said, glancing around. "But, Unicron, why are we here?"

Unicron called forth his avatar. They were standing on his ring array--but only Unicron saw it. Starscream would perceive them as floating. "We met here exactly one hundred and five years ago as of..." He counted down the last five seconds, "...right now."

"That's nice...but I still want to know why we're here. What makes this spot so important to you?"

As usual, Starscream was moody and demanding more information.

Turning, Unicron looked into Starscream's dynamic silver optics and watched reflections of the universe dance across their shiny surfaces. He saw himself through Starscream's eyes--a golden being framed by stars.

"I brought you here because I want to tell you what that day meant to _me_."

.o

Stars caressed the darkness, unseen by the ringed sphere floating like a phantom amongst them.

Unicron felt a twinge reverberate throughout his wing array. Everything within the known universe became the miniscule red and white jet hanging uneasily in the starry void before him. Many millennia were spent waiting for this moment. Now it was here and Unicron found himself hesitating. Several times he'd played this instant out in his mind--he'd already discarded any notions of approaching in his avatar form. It'd be too big a shock if he looked like an ordinary Cybertronian and suddenly revealed his giant, godly shell. Appearing in his _true_ form was definitely impossible. Best to show himself as the universe saw him first. The other's reaction would determine his next course of action.

"Okay!" Starscream growled impatiently. Time had not erased his exotic Eastern accent. "I'm here! Hello?"

And the dark god remained still, his massive planetary form cloaked by darkness and mental trickery.

The otherworldly jet split and transformed into perfection. Unicron could see Starscream from practically every angle and his ring array translated Starscream's bodily vibrations into the whirrs, clicks and thrums of his internals. It created harmony against the ambient rumble of the cosmic microwave background. What did his body sound like when he danced and painted all those millennia ago?

Starscream's gaze was drawn to the galactic center. Longing flickered over his tired features. It was easy to tell how badly he missed his days as an artist. But time had twisted Starscream inside. No longer was he the shy, joyful child Unicron remembered. Just thinking of what Megatron did sent hot pulses through Unicron's systems. He couldn't stand idly by and watch this beautiful creature wither inside.

Starscream's nose wrinkled in a sneer. He kicked the void in front of him and fear wound itself into his voice. "Great...I knew it! I've been tricked! I'm dead...I'm _dead!_"

Time to make his move, lest this treasure vanish forever.

Unicron used his telekinesis to grasp Starscream, pull him close and spin him around. It wasn't until the Seeker was facing him that Unicron realized he hadn't considered what he'd _say_ to him.

Fortunately, Starscream had no problem opening his mouth. "What the..." And his mind reeled, _It's HUGE!_

Unicron couldn't believe this moment. Seeing him through Sideways' eyes put a safe barrier between himself and disappointment. Now that wall was gone. Anything he said or did from now on had a direct impact on Starscream as well as himself.

****

I'm the one who called you here, Starscream.

Starscream gulped and his orange optics widened. He definitely recognized the voice. A flicker of the shy child he once was shone in the way he squashed his voice to a quiet rasp, "Wh-who...what...are you?"

If Unicron remembered how to smile, he would have right then. Starscream was _talking_ to him!

****

I...am Unicron.

"Unicron," it was music on Starscream's lips. "Nice--" then his expression hardened. He gathered himself and straightened out, a shining jewel as red as the nebula he painted so long ago. "Requesting permission to board your vessel."

A vessel? Well, technically, Starscream did speak correctly. Unicron just wasn't ready to reveal that truth just yet. Still, it wrestled a humorless chuckle from somewhere in his Spark.

****

No, wait there. I'll come out.

Unicron pushed Starscream back as a safety precaution. Starscream didn't get the hint--he was too busy staring, slack-jawed and realizing the scale of his new companion, to think clearly.

****

You may want to back up some more. Unicron said, freeing his ring array. For a brief moment the array went offline...this was to protect himself from the dizzying feedback he'd get every time the two halves swung backwards to become his wings...but when it came back online sixty seconds later, he saw Starscream diving for safety.

Unicron winced inwardly. Initiating his transformation sequence after millions of years without doing so made the process mildly painful. He bore it in silence. This discomfort was nothing compared to what he endured in the past.

His hopes rode on whether or not Starscream stayed. If the Seeker ran, there was no way Unicron could catch him mid-transformation. But fortune was on his side--Starscream hung frozen in the darkness, watching with frightened fascination. Relieved, Unicron focused on letting his body take shape. Once he'd assumed his bipedal form, he zeroed in on the nearly microscopic form of Starscream.

Starscream's jaw dropped in comical shock. "Oh...my...y-you're big."

__

Only on the outside, Unicron replied silently. He wanted to soothe the Seeker somehow, yet had no idea how because he himself had never experienced a comforting gesture. All he had to go on were the images he'd seen via Sideways. He flashed an amused smirk and brought his hand up under Starscream's feet. The movement was calculated down to the microscopic level. Too fast and his own gravity would squash Starscream like an insect. Too slow and that same gravity risked turning him into a skipping stone.

Once Starscream was secured, Unicron brought him closer to his face. The red figure was but a speck smaller than the spaces in his knuckles. He had to zoom in just to make out his wings.

__

I'm holding my reason for living... Unicron realized without letting it show on his face. Starscream's head swung from one optic to the other as if he didn't know which one to look into. _He is so much stronger than I was...and doesn't even realize it. I hope I've come in time to prevent him from becoming a husk_.

"So um..." Starscream chewed his bottom lip and flashed a nervous little smile that did strange things to Unicron's circuitry. "...I don't see how this lesson plan is going to work. It's a bit of a size difference."

Unicron would have laughed if he remembered how. He huffed out loud instead and gathered his mental energies. With his mind he reached out into Starscream's awareness. Then he tapped into his own abilities to project himself--something he hadn't deemed necessary in millions of years--and his reality went briefly white. His vision cleared to Starscream standing before him.

If Unicron looked over his shoulder, or down, he'd see his giant self still floating there. But Starscream would not--Unicron figured it'd be less confusing if he only kept one version of himself visible at a time.

By the gods, Starscream was as beautiful as his art. He had classic Eastern features--small lips, a delicate jaw and narrow, spindle-shaped eyes full of _fire_. Unicron gazed into them and felt himself consumed in their depths. Not a hint of this showed on his face. He'd forgotten how to look awed.

He assumed a nonchalant pose and cocked his head. "Is it an issue now?"

Starscream's optics widened. "What the!"

"I'm a god. The dark god, the Chaos-bringer, galactic grim reaper...the list goes on." Unicron said simply, but backpedaled a little when he noticed Starscream shrinking back. He softened his voice slightly, gesturing to the stars around them. "I was created by Primus' antithesis. I can do anything I want. You're still standing in my hand, Starscream, I've just altered your perception of me so I appear smaller. I can manipulate my environment as I see fit."

A haunted shimmer crossed Starscream's attractive features. He licked his lips and clenched his fists, clearly uncertain.

Unicron demonstrated his mental abilities by creating a blank, windowless room with silver walls, a door and ambient lighting that glistened on Starscream's slender frame. He felt it best to start out in simple, non-threatening surroundings. And in Unicron's mind, a small place with plenty of light felt _safe_ from the creeping memories of long fingers and icy purple eyes.

"Understand?" he asked, hoping he wasn't frightening the Seeker.

If anything, Starscream seemed too shell-shocked to be afraid. His thoughts raced in circles like an aura clinging to his outline. _I'm messing around with a god! What am I getting into? I...oh_...

Unicron had used the moment to adjust his appearance even more--trying to make himself as physically appealing as possible without changing his form. Hoping to play on Starscream's artistic eye, he turned his head and let the light dance over his face. Then he touched his own cheek to prove its solidity, and noticed Starscream's gaze following his hand.

Desire slowly emerged. Unicron could smell it on Starscream like a fine perfume of oil, copper and steam.

"Does this size appeal more to you?" he asked, completely willing to adjust himself to Starscream's liking.

"Um..."

Again, thoughts were whirling through the Seeker's processors. His mind was a tempest of tension and doubt.

****

You wanted out, Unicron invaded the storm, and the fear in Starscream's eyes lessened a few degrees. He stepped right past the rain, reached out and caressed the burning lips he longed to kiss ever since he saw their first smile. **I am your way out. Listen to me and I will teach you everything you need to know.**

He felt Starscream's breath cycle in hot puffs against his thumb. The air moved through him in rainbow waves, burning as it escaped into the cold vacuum. He caressed those soft, perfect lips. Beautiful...they were beautiful.

To touch Starscream at last--really touch him--was more than Unicron ever dreamed.

Starscream was becoming aroused, but treated it like a betrayal. Megatron flashed across his eyes and he cringed. Megatron, the one who made him see desire as shame. Megatron...so misguided and lost...but, at the moment, Unicron hated him for twisting this wonderful person into a bastardized image of himself.

Starscream inched back.

Unicron knew immediately why his actions were frightening.

He hadn't _asked_.

It was an oversight he quickly corrected because, for the life of him, Unicron had no clue how he'd approach this situation. The only "loving" touch he knew was his master, and it had never been enjoyable.

"How do you like to be touched?"

"Um..." Starscream was fighting with himself. The shame in his eyes _hurt_. And the extent of Megatron's damage presented itself in his simple reply: "I-I don't know."

Then he turned his head, breaking eye contact as the shyness in him surfaced. His uncertainty was to be expected--Unicron would have worried even more if he just gave in and opened his legs to anyone who wanted an uplink. At the same time, Unicron found himself rejoicing inside. He would be the _first_ to discover Starscream's secrets. He would be the _first_ to experience him the way he was meant to be.

__

I wonder if gods get horny...

It was a thought so out of place in the moment that Unicron almost laughed. "We most certainly do."

Starscream shot him an indignant look. He was so slagging attractive when he sneered. "Stop reading my mind!"

"Stop thinking so loud," Unicron challenged.

"Grr!"

His emotions were so open...

"You're so high-strung. That is what allows Megatron to manipulate you, Starscream. You give away too much. Anger, sadness, shame..." Unicron said, walking slowly around Starscream. Sometimes he caressed him, marveling at his smooth finish and testing his reactions. He seemed to shrink even when touched in places not considered intimate, like his arms and shoulders. "Everything shows on your face. You broadcast. Look at yourself," he turned suddenly, ruby red meeting fiery orange. "You're tense," he leaned forward, inhaling the almost salty fear and anger bleeding through his seams, "I can smell your fear."

Lines formed around Starscream's eyes and mouth. He bared his teeth, snarling, "If you're going to make a fuck toy of me, just get it over with already! Otherwise, just let me--"

Unicron saw his opening. He lunged and tasted that rage before it was wasted in the vacuum. His knees almost gave out in the heat between Starscream's glorious lips as they molded so perfectly to his own. It was better than anything he'd ever dreamed in his eons of solitude. He felt hands grasp his chest plates, scrambling for balance, and hesitantly drew back a few inches to let him breathe.

"You have so much unresolved sexual tension," Unicron whispered against Starscream's mouth, which remained slightly open, gasping. "Being forced to finish alone," he kissed him again, already addicted to the softness, "it must wear on you."

"S-so?" Starscream sputtered. Frightened though he was, he didn't back away. His eyes remained hard like burning diamonds.

Unicron softened the floor and eased Starscream to recline. "That tension needs to disappear if you're ever going to learn anything, Starscream," he purred, loving the sound of the Seeker's name on his tongue. His pumps were all pounding, the coolant roaring around his audios. Anticipation nearly offlined him--was this really happening? Was he really about to lay hands on his dreams?

"But why...me?" Starscream's coarse voice broke the silence. "There's a million other people in my situation."

"Why _not_ you?" Unicron countered.

And Starscream bit his lip, his narrow eyes turning into slits. "Maybe it's not worth my time."

Anger boiled under Unicron's armor. He did not let it show, but the almost-rejection sounded too much like his old master. Once more, he caressed Starscream's soft mouth and leaned close, so close their eyes could look nowhere else. "If it wasn't, I wouldn't be here talking to you," he whispered, "I'm tired of Megatron thinking he's a god among mortals."

"So why don't you just crush him?"

Unicron's anguish cooled. He dragged his index finger down the length of Starscream's body and cupped his cone. It was warm, betraying his excitement. In that moment he found the courage to voice why he brought Starscream here.

"Because you need the vindication."

__

You need to conquer where I could not. He added silently, continuing to caress Starscream's cone,_ You need to face your oppressor. You must not become a husk like me. The universe can't handle two dead husks lurking around. Megatron is bad enough, but my master would take notice of the anguish you broadcast. You would be a trophy, a toy to fate just like me. I won't let him have you, Starscream. I won't!_

Desire made Starscream's optics dim. He pressed into Unicron's hand, gasping for the breath cycles stolen from him. Aching need painted itself around his features. There was no denying his arousal.

Unicron leaned towards his audio, "Do you want me to continue, Starscream?"

Starscream looked at him as if he'd offered a completely foreign concept. At the same time, a daring new fire ignited behind his optics. He wasn't utterly crushed yet. "Keep going..." he gasped.

Unicron almost smiled. He employed his wing array--the most sensitive part of his body--to touch the center of Starscream's arousal. It felt like the heat of Creation jolting through his body. Warm and bright...not cold and dark.

"Unngh!" Starscream's voice expressed a hunger no words could describe. He gasped and looked ashamed of himself the instant he moaned.

"You like that," Unicron whispered, "It's okay to like it, Starscream."

Like a bird escaping its cage, Starscream acquiesced almost immediately. He leaned back and moaned so beautifully. His fingers pressed into the cushion-like floor, wrinkling it against his palm. That hand...it held the power to bring dreams into reality and light the darkness, and one day it would guide Unicron to freedom.

Neither of them knew, then, the power held in those black fingertips.

Unicron was almost in a trance when he watched Starscream's face change. But even in this moment, doubt came between them again. Scars always were tough to breech.

Flailing, Starscream broke away from the wing array and scooted several feet away. He hugged himself, trembling, sparks dancing around his lithe red frame.

"I-I'm sorry..." He panted, afraid the pleasure would be pulled back too soon. "I-I just--need a minute."

"I understand," Unicron said...understanding more than Starscream knew. Starscream had no idea how much control it took to touch him without ripping his body apart. Strength was Unicron's power...and his curse.

He listened quietly to the doubts roaring over Starscream's mind. Starscream told himself there was no shame in this. He had a right to feel this, to enjoy this. In a few moments he'd laid back again, meeting Unicron's eyes with a shy little smile.

"I think I'm ready now."

__

Yes...let me re-mold you into the being you deserve to be. Unicron knelt, reconnecting his wing array as he captured Starscream's lips in a powerful kiss._ I will make you stronger. I will_--

But his world tunneled when Starscream's tongue darted into his mouth and rolled around his fangs. Unicron willed himself not to bite down out of instinct--and for an endless moment he swam between terror and pleasure, more afraid of himself than he'd ever been in his life.

"Why?" Starscream whispered.

Unicron pressed more digits into Starscream's turbines. His guess was right, they were sensitive. "Why what?"

"Why...ooh...are we--here?"

"Interesting question. For now, let's say fate." Unicron replied. He subtly...very subtly...pumped his wing digit in and out of Starscream's warmth. His entire wing array tingled in a manner unfamiliar to him, yet it felt so pleasant that he allowed the sensation to continue.

And Starscream whimpered, his orange optics flickering in need. He arched, twisted and clung, drowning in his own reactions. His body cried for completion while his face remained uncertain. Stress delayed his overload, causing his innards to reach critical temperatures.

"Let yourself feel it." Unicron reassured him. "This is not wrong, Starscream." He increased his voltage and stared in awe at the delicate way Starscream arched his back. His beautiful red body spread out so perfectly against the silver floor. This _had_ to be a dream! "Your body is _meant_ to feel this."

Trembling, Starscream's expression melted from afraid to aroused. Either he stopped doubting or simply didn't care anymore. The tingling Unicron felt in his wing array compelled him to continue teasing Starscream's cone. He found the Seeker's lips to be utterly fascinating--they trembled, twisted and tensed, spilling forth hoarse moans between hungry gasps

Suddenly, almost too suddenly for Unicron, Starscream reached out. The dark god found his horns caught in powerful fists that yanked him down face to face. He looked into orange fury that pleaded with him not to stop.

"_Feel_ it," Unicron pushed his wing digit into Starscream a little harder than before. His whole body tingled. He never felt this way before...it confused him, but he wouldn't let his focus waver. "There is no shame."

Pain crossed Starscream's face. His mouth twisted. He mewled. No, not pain...

"Oh-OH! More volts! AH!"

Unicron complied without question, fascinated as Starscream suddenly stiffened and cried out. He'd never seen another mech overload in person--not since his master--and Starscream was not subtle about it. He writhed, cried out and looked utterly _stunning_ while delightful havoc poured through his body. Coolant burst from his cone. Unicron could taste its sweetness through the sensors in his array. It made body feel suddenly strange. Waves upon waves of prickling heat cascaded over his wing digits, crashed through his torso and reverberated into his limbs. His body tensed and his jaw clenched. He did not know how to respond to this unfamiliar feeling--so he didn't react at all beyond a faint tremor in his hands.

When it passed, he held Starscream like he used to hold Welder and relished the glaze fogging his orange optics. He, too, felt strangely relaxed and satisfied. He'd overloaded for the first time in his long life, but did not recognize the sensation for what it was. It would be a century before he truly experienced it again.

__

I'm alive because of you, but you have no idea. I hope to remind you soon. I will show you freedom. Yet, the moment Unicron thought that, he grieved. He knew the price Starscream would likely pay for standing up to Megatron. Dying free was better than living as a prisoner. Starscream would leave this universe with a pure Spark. _When word comes of your defeat...I will follow. There is no question. I must be wherever you are_.

"Wait--what about you?" Starscream asked through tired lips.

"This was about _you_, Starscream." Unicron came back to himself. The tingling he felt could be explored later, once Starscream got some rest. He placed a tiny cube of gourmet level energon on Starscream's glossa. It would feed him and help him rest. "Now relax and recharge. We have a lot of work to do."

And Starscream curled into his chest...he seemed so touch-oriented without all that tension in the way. A good sign, Unicron noted, he hadn't grown to fear all physical contact. His job was ten times easier than he anticipated. As Starscream started drifting to sleep, Unicron couldn't help noticing how much he reminded him of Welder. It was his smile, a faint, involuntary twitch that captured him on the edge of recharge.

__

I gave myself to a god... Starscream's mind reeled, _And then he fed me...is this a dream?_

If it is, Starscream...Lacrimosidus...I never want to awaken. Unicron gazed down at him in awe. His dream was resting in his arms! **You aren't dreaming.** He told himself as much as he answered Starscream.

"So..." The Seeker yawned, "I'm not going to wake up back in the moon base?"

"No," Unicron said against his brow, not yet realizing he also voiced his own fate: "You will wake up to the beginning of your rebirth."

Satisfied, Starscream shut off his optics and relaxed completely.

Unicron sat there for hours, gazing at his reason for living and terrified of the inevitable moment when he had to let him go.

__

Someday, if you survive your ordeal with Megatron, and long after you've forgotten me...I hope you find someone worthy of your affections. Don't wander this universe alone. Don't become another me.

He looked up, blind to the stars, the solar system and the galactic hub. Their beauty was lost on him...

.o

"...but not yours."

The universe fell silent and still around them. Unicron hung in the quiet, studying Starscream's expression. He stood for ages in the face of his old life, letting himself ponder the hatred he'd let go of. Letting go changed him somehow--he knew every time he looked into Starscream's eyes and felt warmth instead of cold numbness.

Starscream stared at him, his mind clearly working over the whole tale. Then his mouth quirked up in a half-smile. He'd been through so many changes, yet that little smirk remained exactly the same.

"I _did_ find somebody _worthy_ of my affections. Next time I see him, I'll remind him to get over his doom and gloom outlook on life. Because what he almost became isn't as important as what he's still becoming."

He turned away then, still smiling, and surveyed the galactic arm hanging like a fog above their heads. It probably didn't occur to him that his words had more impact than he thought.

__

Destiny... Unicron thought of his old master, who no longer had a hold on him, and realization made him wish he could laugh in his face. He turned his head a few degrees to watch Starscream measure out the Milky Way with his hands. His Spark warmed, anticipating the painting he knew would come from it. _You can not destroy my destiny, Primacron, because I'm looking at it_.


End file.
